i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
