the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
NoShamevember. You game?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
