I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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