I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
