So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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