idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
