I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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