If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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