my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
