well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
