Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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