that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
