We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
