Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
