That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
