Whatcha textin bout Willis?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
