i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
