scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
