My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Small penises have feelings too.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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