ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
