I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
