I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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