the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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