New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
