taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
