I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
