I cockslap morals
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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