What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
