So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I need moral support for this bender
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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