Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
why is half of my head shaved?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize