hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
