Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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