I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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