so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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