the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i now understand why vodka
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
