What did we do last night that was yellow?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
