I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
