It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
