Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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