Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
