I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
