That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
