I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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