is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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