I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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