To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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