Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize