He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
