Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
