If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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