So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
People in love make me want to vomit
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
