In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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