is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
is that a dick in a sweater?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
