I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize