kristin has been a bad kristin
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
