Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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