In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
