did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
