Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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