I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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