The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
