Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
