I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
