I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
