there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
one two three fourrrrnication!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
